Sunday, October 31, 2004
WHO ARE YOU?
(October 31st 2004)
In the depths of darkness
That follows this life of mine
I sit and await final judgement
Sentanced for all of time
From the darkness straight ahead
Comes a voice, dark and deep
It's roughness grates as it asks
"Who are you" and then fell quiet
I pondered my answer long and hard
Then finally drew the courage to speak
In a meek voice that I did hate
I told the voice "I am Robert"
I live in darkness and shadow
I care not for the world, have no need
I do not believe, nor do I have faith
It all will mean nothing in the end
The darkness swirled beneath my feet
And swept me away to a far past time
I saw myself within and without
And all that I never saw around me
I saw those few who cared about me
Never speaking, never showing
Just quietly there, always supporting
As I pushed them all away
I saw the deep longing within
For a life, for love, for a friend
I saw the need that I always denied
And replaced that need with a lie
In the swirls of truth I saw
A man who needed, a man who cared
Who had faith in love, but had lost it
Replaced with the cynic view I knew
I saw all the beliefs I had lost
And shoved away from me forever
Denying it all, refusing to see
Just how much I needed to care
The darkness slowly stopped
And I returned to the present time
I saw the darkness in front of me
And nothing else beside it nor me
Then from those depths of darkness
Came a being, both long and tall
Yet also short and thin, it made no sense
Don't be asking questions, I said
From beneath his hooded cape
From a face that I could not see
Came the voice once again, it said
"Who are you" and nothing more
I reflected on what I had seen
And what I remembered believing
I found my strength inside of me
And spoke to the figure "I am Robert"
I care and I believe in my love
I show it for the world to see
Nothing can stop me, not distance nor time
Nor the people who do not believe
The darkness swirled beneath my feet
And swept me away to a far past time
I saw myself within and without
And all that I never saw around me
I saw the desire lurking deep beneath
Saw the flashes of jealousy
That gave way to hot desires in the night
Some fulfilled, others denied
Love sometimes didn't matter
Only this feeling, deep inside of me
For a women to caress and to stroke
To make her moan and scream
In the swirls of truth I saw
The monster I could become
Giving way to lust and desire
Nothing more to drive me
My lack of self control
My foolish human drive
No love, no care, no feelings
Only lust and crave and desire
The darkness slowly stopped
And I returned to the present time
I saw the darkness in front of me
And nothing else beside it nor me
The figured stepped closer
To right in front of me
And bent right down over me
So I could see his bony face
The bony jaw did move around
And questioned me once again
The never ending question
"Who are you" will it never cease!
I considered what I had seen
And hung my head in shame
Before quietly speaking my name
With tears from my eyes "I am Robert"
I lust and I desire
There's no love inside me
No feelings, no emotions
It's all just a scheme
The darkness swirled beneath my feet
And swept me away to a far past time
I saw myself within and without
And all that I never saw around me
I saw you, Andarta, here in the mists
That swirl all around us in the night
And I saw the lust, the love, the fear
And how I could bring them all together
I saw you, Andarta, there in the mists
I saw your love, your lust, your fear
I saw us together in the night, at last
There's nothing more to fear, but fear
I saw the truth within myself
And realized that all along
I've been giving the right answer
Yet the wrong one just the same
I saw the paradox, the contradiction
And realized myself in epiphany
There's life, there's love, there's lust
All together in balance
The darkness slowly stopped
And I returned to the present time
I saw the darkness in front of me
And nothing else beside it nor me
The bony figured grasped my hand
And moved to take me away
But one last time I screamed and shouted
"Let you give me one last chance!"
The bony figured stopped
And looked at me again
Slowly the head went up and down
"Who are you" he said once again
I took a deep breath and said
From the very depths of my soul
"I am Dep, the contradiction"
I love and I care
Romance all through the night
I hate and I cry
Think I don't need anyone at all
I lust and I desire
On our bed, where are our clothes?
I am all this, this is all my soul
Death looked at me and grinned
For that is who he is
He smiled down upon me and said
"Yes that is who you are"
He released my arm and guided me
To a staircase full of light
At it's end I'll spend my endless sleep
Knowing who I am at last
(October 31st 2004)
In the depths of darkness
That follows this life of mine
I sit and await final judgement
Sentanced for all of time
From the darkness straight ahead
Comes a voice, dark and deep
It's roughness grates as it asks
"Who are you" and then fell quiet
I pondered my answer long and hard
Then finally drew the courage to speak
In a meek voice that I did hate
I told the voice "I am Robert"
I live in darkness and shadow
I care not for the world, have no need
I do not believe, nor do I have faith
It all will mean nothing in the end
The darkness swirled beneath my feet
And swept me away to a far past time
I saw myself within and without
And all that I never saw around me
I saw those few who cared about me
Never speaking, never showing
Just quietly there, always supporting
As I pushed them all away
I saw the deep longing within
For a life, for love, for a friend
I saw the need that I always denied
And replaced that need with a lie
In the swirls of truth I saw
A man who needed, a man who cared
Who had faith in love, but had lost it
Replaced with the cynic view I knew
I saw all the beliefs I had lost
And shoved away from me forever
Denying it all, refusing to see
Just how much I needed to care
The darkness slowly stopped
And I returned to the present time
I saw the darkness in front of me
And nothing else beside it nor me
Then from those depths of darkness
Came a being, both long and tall
Yet also short and thin, it made no sense
Don't be asking questions, I said
From beneath his hooded cape
From a face that I could not see
Came the voice once again, it said
"Who are you" and nothing more
I reflected on what I had seen
And what I remembered believing
I found my strength inside of me
And spoke to the figure "I am Robert"
I care and I believe in my love
I show it for the world to see
Nothing can stop me, not distance nor time
Nor the people who do not believe
The darkness swirled beneath my feet
And swept me away to a far past time
I saw myself within and without
And all that I never saw around me
I saw the desire lurking deep beneath
Saw the flashes of jealousy
That gave way to hot desires in the night
Some fulfilled, others denied
Love sometimes didn't matter
Only this feeling, deep inside of me
For a women to caress and to stroke
To make her moan and scream
In the swirls of truth I saw
The monster I could become
Giving way to lust and desire
Nothing more to drive me
My lack of self control
My foolish human drive
No love, no care, no feelings
Only lust and crave and desire
The darkness slowly stopped
And I returned to the present time
I saw the darkness in front of me
And nothing else beside it nor me
The figured stepped closer
To right in front of me
And bent right down over me
So I could see his bony face
The bony jaw did move around
And questioned me once again
The never ending question
"Who are you" will it never cease!
I considered what I had seen
And hung my head in shame
Before quietly speaking my name
With tears from my eyes "I am Robert"
I lust and I desire
There's no love inside me
No feelings, no emotions
It's all just a scheme
The darkness swirled beneath my feet
And swept me away to a far past time
I saw myself within and without
And all that I never saw around me
I saw you, Andarta, here in the mists
That swirl all around us in the night
And I saw the lust, the love, the fear
And how I could bring them all together
I saw you, Andarta, there in the mists
I saw your love, your lust, your fear
I saw us together in the night, at last
There's nothing more to fear, but fear
I saw the truth within myself
And realized that all along
I've been giving the right answer
Yet the wrong one just the same
I saw the paradox, the contradiction
And realized myself in epiphany
There's life, there's love, there's lust
All together in balance
The darkness slowly stopped
And I returned to the present time
I saw the darkness in front of me
And nothing else beside it nor me
The bony figured grasped my hand
And moved to take me away
But one last time I screamed and shouted
"Let you give me one last chance!"
The bony figured stopped
And looked at me again
Slowly the head went up and down
"Who are you" he said once again
I took a deep breath and said
From the very depths of my soul
"I am Dep, the contradiction"
I love and I care
Romance all through the night
I hate and I cry
Think I don't need anyone at all
I lust and I desire
On our bed, where are our clothes?
I am all this, this is all my soul
Death looked at me and grinned
For that is who he is
He smiled down upon me and said
"Yes that is who you are"
He released my arm and guided me
To a staircase full of light
At it's end I'll spend my endless sleep
Knowing who I am at last