Dep's Poetry

ILLUSIONS
(Oct 8th 2005)

...

(Do the stars not still shine?)

...

(Does the sun not still rise?)

Only in your world, can the stars shine.
Only in your world, may the sun rise.

Burning a hole through the pouring rain
I stalk this Earth, alone as it once was
Perhaps better prepared...
Perhaps a little more wise...

But nothing... nothing is the same.

Haunting each and every footsteps
The sound of memory drawing nearer
Of a time long past and long forgotten
When everything changed......

-----

Take my hand, lead me forward
To where the light may shine
And the stars shall twinkle above

For surely love is eternal
Spring in my step
Smile on my lips
And the world's going to end up alright

-----

Darkness once held mystery
You pulled me from the dark
And now, having seen the light
Darkness holds nothing for me

Yet the stars do not shine
And the sun will never rise
For I, I have put out the light
Yet not reentered the darkness
Caught between the dark and light
What am I, can you tell me that?

Today, nothing is the same
My Footsteps haunt me
Every move, made in shadow
Trying never to remember
Yet never to forget

I stalk this world before me
Only a shadow in the life
An illusion of life

For I have taken my place among the dead
Among those who must not care
And everything I ever stood for
Everything I ever cared about
Must remain dead inside me

STILL REMEMBER
(Sept 5th 2005)

Thought we now lie
With a thousand miles between us
Our hearts finally divided
As it never was before
Our shared fate shattered
As though made of glass

Still I remember

Though we have forsworn
Our future, our present's end
Our heart's desires crushed
The link that was what we had
Severed for all eternity
An ending with complete finality

Still I remember

I see the ending
The fire and rain of tears
For though I swore I never would
I lost my hope and quit
Not quite believing
Nor quite seeing

Loves rage still builds within
Burning longing for you
For though I have no more faith
Though I have betrayed thee, my love
You're forever in my thoughts
And forever in my dreams

For I still remember

I dedicate this poem to Courtney 'Andarta' Duquette - may her sun never fail.

NEED AND WANT
(August 10th 2005)

Slip into dreams of a tale untold
And a story that has yet to unfold
Here in restless sleep at last to find
That which I was forced to leave behind
For all that I have ever wanted
And all that I have ever needed
Was right here in front of me
If only I could have seen

Slip your hand into mine
And listen to our clocks chime
All that I've ever wanted
And all that I've ever needed
Is to feel as though I'm wanted
To know that I am always loved
Never to doubt, never to wonder
Never to hear the thunder

Twirling once again upon the floor
This time, our love is so much more
No cause to wonder
Or break asunder
For all that I have ever wanted
And all that I have ever needed
Is for you to light the lonely way
To cherish and be cherished each day

Slip out of my dreams into today
And see all as it has now passed
I never wanted it to end this way
But now it has, the love is ended
And I know now, more that I have ever
That its you in my dreams forever
You're all that I ever wanted
And all that I would ever need

Yet dreams fade away
Gold turns to dust
What was is not
And tears spill
Smiles fail
Night falls
River keeps flowing
Awaiting tomorrow
When rainbows return
And the sun rises again

PURPOSE
(August 4th 2005)

There is meaning in every song
And a message in every poem
Look, there on the surface
Or deeper, beyond the words
Take the words that I write
And know that I write for a purpose
There is always method to my madness
Something to be learned
A story to be told
Something I wish to say
So hear my words, look for the meaning
They aren't just made to be pretty
The demon in me wishes to speak
The angel in me wishes to pray
Come one, come all, now sit and listen
Truly listen to what I have to say

Telling Stories
(August 1st 2005)

How to retell the story
Of a perfect moment in time
Of a perfect night with you
The beginning of something so good

The distance coming between
Missing you, so lonely at night
Every special occasion, every single day
Wishing you could be here to share it

The attempts to bring myself up
To believe in the future yet to come
The golden apple, lying in front of me
Just waiting, waiting to be picked

The tiny moments of joy in my life
With you here beside me
The smaller sparks of life
With you at my fingertips

Of an endless cycle of joy
Followed by moments of despair
No respite from my dark hour
Closing, seething, decieving

Is there light in this place
Or am I only fooling myself
A story of doubt, of self-betrayal
Surrounded by potential darkness

How to tell the story
Of my fall from the light
Into the realm of the dark things
That haunt the eternal night

Beliefs, once ever eternal
Now shattered like so much dust
Deepening my misery, thoughts surround
And ignorence my only saving grace

Of my rise through eternal night
Questions posed of my eternal self
Demanding the answers I seek at last
To determine the question of good or evil

My return to paths not recently trod
Seeking to believe as I once did
Only to realize that doubt still lies
And guilt hides it's ugly head

(...)

How can I tell the tale of my year
With you, my Goddess, with you
When every memory pulls a heartstring
And brings a sad tear to my eye

How can I tell the tale of you
And everything we had, everything
When all that we had is now but dust
Shattered by my loss of faith

Perhaps there is no redemption
Perhaps there can never be forgiveness
Nor trust again between us
But within me, after my long night
Still I feel, still I hurt
For these stories of you

So let my tale ring in the hearts of thousands
Let it be told to each and every child
So that every day, the people are reminded
How fragile love is, the work behind the scenes
How special your loved one is, how cherished they are
So that no one may fall, as I have
And lose that love, so dear

Greetings. The following is a collection of work from the preceding two months, the dates are, I believe, included. All good things come in threes.






DEMONS MAY LAUGH
(July 20th 2005)

From nothingness shall grow everything
Hope can fill an empty shell
There is a saviour, in the night
And there is nothing to forgive

Though our demons may laugh
I've seen all there is to see
And known your many lives
And there is nothing to forgive

You know I'm here to stay
Let me teach if you know not how
Take a breath with me and know
There is nothing to forgive




FIGHT
(July 27th 2005)

Within each of us lies a burning light
Never let it go out
Believe, as you have always believed
Searching for your truth
When you find that golden apple, so bright
Never let it out of sight
For each of us, there is love in this life
A golden apple, shining
So believe as you have always believed
And trust in love to be right
For without love, we are but shadows in the night
Fight... fight for the dying light





SUNSET
(June 19th 2005)

Here in this most sacred place,
Surrounded by the idioms of our youth
Strong redwoods under which we once danced
at twilight... the sun setting at last.
Here where it all began, so very long ago
I make my peace at last
Send forth my will to do final battle
And tarry here no longer
Here in this most holiest of places,
I ask but for one simple thing -
Admist the tattered dreams of our childhood
Speak only the truth

(Whispers softly upon the breeze...)

Will thou choose to remain here
within the gates of heaven upon Earth
Forever to be hurt, forever to evolve
Forever coming to new understandings
Will thou choose to remain here
to learn each and every day of love
Will thou endure the heartache and sorrow
That building a new life will take

(Shouting madly from within the hills...)

Will thou depart to faraway lands
To new adventures, new people, new crimes
Forever to be hurt, forever to start anew
Forever to believe not this time
Will thou depart, to faraway lands
To learn and to forget each and every lesson
Will thou endure the loneliness that
Building a new life will take

(Quietly from beneath the moonbeams...)

Will thou abandon all you see here
In favour of something brand new?
Will thou depart in hate and disgust
Richly earned, no doubt?
Will thou forget the entirety of the past
That was once never to be forgotten?
Will thou forsake what you claim to love
For betrayal deserves no love?

The sun has set, my light is fading
Greetings dark realm, we meet once more
But I remember times long past
When you and I have met before

(And I remember...)

I remember that after the dark and after the pain
After the tears within the night`s dark hour
Comes the blessed silence of a soul forgiven
So I shall fear no darkness and fear no evil

For I remember.