Dep's Poetry

WHO ARE YOU?
(October 31st 2004)

In the depths of darkness
That follows this life of mine
I sit and await final judgement
Sentanced for all of time
From the darkness straight ahead
Comes a voice, dark and deep
It's roughness grates as it asks
"Who are you" and then fell quiet

I pondered my answer long and hard
Then finally drew the courage to speak
In a meek voice that I did hate
I told the voice "I am Robert"
I live in darkness and shadow
I care not for the world, have no need
I do not believe, nor do I have faith
It all will mean nothing in the end

The darkness swirled beneath my feet
And swept me away to a far past time
I saw myself within and without
And all that I never saw around me

I saw those few who cared about me
Never speaking, never showing
Just quietly there, always supporting
As I pushed them all away
I saw the deep longing within
For a life, for love, for a friend
I saw the need that I always denied
And replaced that need with a lie

In the swirls of truth I saw
A man who needed, a man who cared
Who had faith in love, but had lost it
Replaced with the cynic view I knew
I saw all the beliefs I had lost
And shoved away from me forever
Denying it all, refusing to see
Just how much I needed to care

The darkness slowly stopped
And I returned to the present time
I saw the darkness in front of me
And nothing else beside it nor me

Then from those depths of darkness
Came a being, both long and tall
Yet also short and thin, it made no sense
Don't be asking questions, I said
From beneath his hooded cape
From a face that I could not see
Came the voice once again, it said
"Who are you" and nothing more

I reflected on what I had seen
And what I remembered believing
I found my strength inside of me
And spoke to the figure "I am Robert"
I care and I believe in my love
I show it for the world to see
Nothing can stop me, not distance nor time
Nor the people who do not believe

The darkness swirled beneath my feet
And swept me away to a far past time
I saw myself within and without
And all that I never saw around me

I saw the desire lurking deep beneath
Saw the flashes of jealousy
That gave way to hot desires in the night
Some fulfilled, others denied
Love sometimes didn't matter
Only this feeling, deep inside of me
For a women to caress and to stroke
To make her moan and scream

In the swirls of truth I saw
The monster I could become
Giving way to lust and desire
Nothing more to drive me
My lack of self control
My foolish human drive
No love, no care, no feelings
Only lust and crave and desire

The darkness slowly stopped
And I returned to the present time
I saw the darkness in front of me
And nothing else beside it nor me

The figured stepped closer
To right in front of me
And bent right down over me
So I could see his bony face
The bony jaw did move around
And questioned me once again
The never ending question
"Who are you" will it never cease!

I considered what I had seen
And hung my head in shame
Before quietly speaking my name
With tears from my eyes "I am Robert"
I lust and I desire
There's no love inside me
No feelings, no emotions
It's all just a scheme

The darkness swirled beneath my feet
And swept me away to a far past time
I saw myself within and without
And all that I never saw around me

I saw you, Andarta, here in the mists
That swirl all around us in the night
And I saw the lust, the love, the fear
And how I could bring them all together
I saw you, Andarta, there in the mists
I saw your love, your lust, your fear
I saw us together in the night, at last
There's nothing more to fear, but fear

I saw the truth within myself
And realized that all along
I've been giving the right answer
Yet the wrong one just the same
I saw the paradox, the contradiction
And realized myself in epiphany
There's life, there's love, there's lust
All together in balance

The darkness slowly stopped
And I returned to the present time
I saw the darkness in front of me
And nothing else beside it nor me

The bony figured grasped my hand
And moved to take me away
But one last time I screamed and shouted
"Let you give me one last chance!"
The bony figured stopped
And looked at me again
Slowly the head went up and down
"Who are you" he said once again

I took a deep breath and said
From the very depths of my soul

"I am Dep, the contradiction"
I love and I care
Romance all through the night
I hate and I cry
Think I don't need anyone at all
I lust and I desire
On our bed, where are our clothes?
I am all this, this is all my soul

Death looked at me and grinned
For that is who he is
He smiled down upon me and said
"Yes that is who you are"
He released my arm and guided me
To a staircase full of light
At it's end I'll spend my endless sleep
Knowing who I am at last

ALL I WANT OR ALL I WANT IS YOU
(October 19th 2004)

In life there are many things
That I may see and do
But at this moment in this place
All I want is you

I want to hold you through the night
And run my hand through you hair
Feel your hand in mine
As we pass the night together
I want to cling to you in the dark
And wrap my arms around you
Whisper sweet nothings
As the night thickens around us

I want to run with you through the day
And taste all the pleasures of life
Feel the wind in my hair, the joy in my heart
As the days pass slowly by
I want to walk with you through the light
And feel your hand in mine
Listen to the wind whisper around us
As the light fills both our hearts

I want to hold you in my arms
And dance through the moonlight
You are so beautiful to me
As we waltz between the stars
I want to kiss you tenderly
And listen to your heartbeat
You are so precious to me
As we explore this precious gift

In life there are many things
That I may see and do
But at this moment in this place
All I want is you

TEARS OF SORROW
(Oct 11th 2004)

At first there was everything
I had the moon, the sun, the stars
You didn't have to give them
They came from your heart

I laughed, I danced I sang
And I believed in everything
Nothing could tear us apart
Nothing could end this feeling

Then there was doubt
A longing for something else
But, banishing it to the winds
I sent it back to the dark

I laughed, I danced and I sang
But deep within my heart
Was now the seed of doubt
And things might never be the same

The music ended, the dance was over
The last dance was never saved
There was nothing more to laugh about
Darkness had taken it's toll

And tears fell, tears of guilt
For what I had done to you
For the lies I had told
For the deeds I had done

Then I looked deep within myself
And I found gentle truth
My doubts faded, hope grew strong
And I knew I could save it all

What is truth you say
When you've hidden all from me
Me, whom you've claimed to love
How can I believe?

I hang my head in sorrow
As I know I've done you wrong
I can only ask your forgiveness
And now speak the truth

There has been love in my heart
From the day I met you
From the day I saw the smile on your face
Which tugged at my heart strings

From the day I felt your lips on mine
I knew of this feeling inside
From the moment I saw the love in your eyes
I knew this course of mine

Baby, I haven't always been strong
I have often faltered in my path
But today I stand up strong
And know where life will lead

Life will lead, if you still want
To the moonlite shores that we share
We'll dance in the moonlight together
And snuggle in the darkness after

This is the life I want
A life with you, I know
To hold you and say those magical words
I love you, again and again

I have hidden what should have been shown
And for that I am sorry
I can only beg your forgiveness
And hope that you will grant it

I looked inside myself
And found gentle truth
I've loved you all along
Only questioned my resolve

So where do we go from here
Can you forgive me of my mistakes
For now, looking at the hurt in your eyes
I realize the gentle truth

To see you in pain, tears at my heart
To imagine life without you is terrible
And now I know, I know that you believe
As I once believed in myself

Tears fall once again from my eyes
But now they are tears of sorrow
For the love that I may have lost
If you cannot forgive me of my sins

Should my sins be forgiven
I will stay this course
For now, knowing how much I love
I will never again risk to lose

I am truly sorry, my love
I pray that you will forgive me

Now I go to dream
Of my life as I want it to be
Of moonlite nights and starlit whispers
And days filled with so much joy

Now I go to dream
Of my love, so far away
But as I dream, my tears will fall
Tears of sorrow upon my pillow

For the love I may have lost

*weeps*

I wish to dedicate this poem to the love I may have lost. I pray for her forgiveness tonight.

here's some older stuff from a while back... not certain, but at least two months. thought I'd post it anyways.

FADE AWAY

Ever believe in a wisp of smoke
And the powers it can have
Only to have them snatched away
Or run through your fingers
Like sand in your hand
Impossible to hold
And no matter how hard you try
No matter what you try to believe
It's impossible to hold onto
Your wisp of smoke
Your fading dream
The sand
Running through your fingers
Slowly fading away

Help me, help me, I've lost it all
And the world's just going to fast
And nothing seems right anymore
Help me, I've forgotten how to love

They say that if you're in love
You can forgive anything
You'll sacrifice and give it your all
Never questioning why
So when questions run through your head
And everyone says you're wrong
What do you believe
What do you believe
Can you tell me now
Do you still believe
In your wisp of smoke
In your fading dream
When you can't hold on
And it's all fading away

Help me, help me, I've lost it all
And the world's just going to fast
And nothing seems right anymore
Help me, I've forgotten how to love

And there's nothing you can do
Nothing to hold on to anymore
It's all gone, taken by your despair
And there's nothing, only nothing
Nothing and nothing and nothing
Maybe then you'll realize
Just how much you had
And just how much you miss it all
The laughs, the love, the feelings
All gone now, like dust in the wind
And you're running on empty
On empty
Nothing's left
'Cause it's all faded away

Help me, help me, I've lost it all
And the world's just going to fast
And nothing seems right anymore
Help me, I've forgotten how to love

Maybe someday
You'll learn to love again
Learn to believe in these feelings
That are gone inside
Maybe someday
You'll feel joy again
And remember what a blue sky is
That you've never seen before
Maybe someday
You'll sing in happiness
Love and be loved
Smile for no other reason than her
Maybe someday, but until then
It all fades away

Help me, help me, I've lost it all
And the world's just going to fast
And nothing seems right anymore
Help me, I've forgotten how to love

here's some older stuff from a while back... not certain, but at least two months. thought I'd post it anyways.

FADE AWAY

Ever believe in a wisp of smoke
And the powers it can have
Only to have them snatched away
Or run through your fingers
Like sand in your hand
Impossible to hold
And no matter how hard you try
No matter what you try to believe
It's impossible to hold onto
Your wisp of smoke
Your fading dream
The sand
Running through your fingers
Slowly fading away

Help me, help me, I've lost it all
And the world's just going to fast
And nothing seems right anymore
Help me, I've forgotten how to love

They say that if you're in love
You can forgive anything
You'll sacrifice and give it your all
Never questioning why
So when questions run through your head
And everyone says you're wrong
What do you believe
What do you believe
Can you tell me now
Do you still believe
In your wisp of smoke
In your fading dream
When you can't hold on
And it's all fading away

Help me, help me, I've lost it all
And the world's just going to fast
And nothing seems right anymore
Help me, I've forgotten how to love

And there's nothing you can do
Nothing to hold on to anymore
It's all gone, taken by your despair
And there's nothing, only nothing
Nothing and nothing and nothing
Maybe then you'll realize
Just how much you had
And just how much you miss it all
The laughs, the love, the feelings
All gone now, like dust in the wind
And you're running on empty
On empty
Nothing's left
'Cause it's all faded away

Help me, help me, I've lost it all
And the world's just going to fast
And nothing seems right anymore
Help me, I've forgotten how to love

Maybe someday
You'll learn to love again
Learn to believe in these feelings
That are gone inside
Maybe someday
You'll feel joy again
And remember what a blue sky is
That you've never seen before
Maybe someday
You'll sing in happiness
Love and be loved
Smile for no other reason than her
Maybe someday, but until then
It all fades away

Help me, help me, I've lost it all
And the world's just going to fast
And nothing seems right anymore
Help me, I've forgotten how to love

MAGIC IN THE AIR

(Oct 2nd 2004)

Light up the candles and start the fire
There's magic in the air tonight
Put on a record, move aside the chair
Let's dance on through the moonlight
Hold me close and hold me tight
Twirl through the starlight
Slowly moving and gently breathing
Rise as high as the stars might
Lower me gently and stroke my hair
Whisper to me in the night
Put your arm around and kiss me hard
Let's forget our plights
Whisper that you love me and hold me tight
There's magic in the air tonight

WHEN YOU'RE DOWN
(Sept 30th 2004)


(GUY)
The world just seems so grey
And nothing seems alive
Maybe everything is dead
Like me, deep inside
I can't seem to love
I don't remember how
And all I can think is that
Somehow it's all wrong

All I want is sleep
And for life just to stop
I don't see a point 'cause
Baby, I just can't love you anymore
Forgive me, please
There's nothing left inside


(GIRL)
Maybe life is hard
And maybe it'll get you down
But, baby, just try to remember
The good times that we shared
The bad times that we survived
And all that we've had together

So let me hold you in my arms
And hug you until the dawn
Remind you why we're here
And how much I really care
Let me show you how much I love you
And hold you through your night


(GUY)
What does love matter anymore
When nothing feels the same
No, stay away, don't come near
Don't let me change you too
Let me fall into night
For nothing matters anymore


(GIRL)
Feel my arms around you, love
Try to remember your heart
I know life can get you down
But always remember yourself
Remember that I love you
And remember that I care


(pause, musical interlude)


(TOGETHER)
When life gets you down
And you're all alone
Just remember this
Love lifts us up
And carry's us through
The dark hours of night
Until the wee hours of dawn

So don't give in
And don't give up
Put trust in your love
Until the morning's dawn


(GUY)
And now I can truly see
The morning sun, as it's supposed to be
Love, fill my heart and warm me up
I remember who I once was
And it's all thanks to you, my love
It's all thanks to you, love


(GIRL)
Remember for all time
When life's about to do you in
Remember me and I'll be there
To hold you tight
To stay with you through your night
Remember me, love, and I'll be there

// posted by Dep @ 5:43 PM 0 comments