Dep's Poetry

I dedicate this poem to Courtney 'Andarta' Duquette - may her sun never fail.

NEED AND WANT
(August 10th 2005)

Slip into dreams of a tale untold
And a story that has yet to unfold
Here in restless sleep at last to find
That which I was forced to leave behind
For all that I have ever wanted
And all that I have ever needed
Was right here in front of me
If only I could have seen

Slip your hand into mine
And listen to our clocks chime
All that I've ever wanted
And all that I've ever needed
Is to feel as though I'm wanted
To know that I am always loved
Never to doubt, never to wonder
Never to hear the thunder

Twirling once again upon the floor
This time, our love is so much more
No cause to wonder
Or break asunder
For all that I have ever wanted
And all that I have ever needed
Is for you to light the lonely way
To cherish and be cherished each day

Slip out of my dreams into today
And see all as it has now passed
I never wanted it to end this way
But now it has, the love is ended
And I know now, more that I have ever
That its you in my dreams forever
You're all that I ever wanted
And all that I would ever need

Yet dreams fade away
Gold turns to dust
What was is not
And tears spill
Smiles fail
Night falls
River keeps flowing
Awaiting tomorrow
When rainbows return
And the sun rises again

PURPOSE
(August 4th 2005)

There is meaning in every song
And a message in every poem
Look, there on the surface
Or deeper, beyond the words
Take the words that I write
And know that I write for a purpose
There is always method to my madness
Something to be learned
A story to be told
Something I wish to say
So hear my words, look for the meaning
They aren't just made to be pretty
The demon in me wishes to speak
The angel in me wishes to pray
Come one, come all, now sit and listen
Truly listen to what I have to say

Telling Stories
(August 1st 2005)

How to retell the story
Of a perfect moment in time
Of a perfect night with you
The beginning of something so good

The distance coming between
Missing you, so lonely at night
Every special occasion, every single day
Wishing you could be here to share it

The attempts to bring myself up
To believe in the future yet to come
The golden apple, lying in front of me
Just waiting, waiting to be picked

The tiny moments of joy in my life
With you here beside me
The smaller sparks of life
With you at my fingertips

Of an endless cycle of joy
Followed by moments of despair
No respite from my dark hour
Closing, seething, decieving

Is there light in this place
Or am I only fooling myself
A story of doubt, of self-betrayal
Surrounded by potential darkness

How to tell the story
Of my fall from the light
Into the realm of the dark things
That haunt the eternal night

Beliefs, once ever eternal
Now shattered like so much dust
Deepening my misery, thoughts surround
And ignorence my only saving grace

Of my rise through eternal night
Questions posed of my eternal self
Demanding the answers I seek at last
To determine the question of good or evil

My return to paths not recently trod
Seeking to believe as I once did
Only to realize that doubt still lies
And guilt hides it's ugly head

(...)

How can I tell the tale of my year
With you, my Goddess, with you
When every memory pulls a heartstring
And brings a sad tear to my eye

How can I tell the tale of you
And everything we had, everything
When all that we had is now but dust
Shattered by my loss of faith

Perhaps there is no redemption
Perhaps there can never be forgiveness
Nor trust again between us
But within me, after my long night
Still I feel, still I hurt
For these stories of you

So let my tale ring in the hearts of thousands
Let it be told to each and every child
So that every day, the people are reminded
How fragile love is, the work behind the scenes
How special your loved one is, how cherished they are
So that no one may fall, as I have
And lose that love, so dear