Monday, April 25, 2005
EPIPHANY
(April 25th 2005)
Like shattered glass
Illusions fall
Dreams dissolve, resolve
Changing, twisting turning
Surer now, a future in mind
Paths are set, places to go
Let's find a route that takes us
To the ancient city of gold
We'll dance in the moonlight
I'll sweep you off your feet
Lay you in your bed of roses
Touch your face, gently stroke
It's midnight, New Years Eve
Let's celebrate now together
It's Christmas Eve, sit by the fire
Relax and whittle away the hours
Valentine's Day, we're out
Candlelit dinner, romantic movie
Necking like teenagers
It's our birthdays, happy birthday
We grow older, appreciate the years
Look how time has changed us
But still we grow together
It's Graduation, you've got your degree
Look how happy you are, all in green
Mother's Day, Father's Day
Our children surround us
Kali on her mother's lap
Iris beside her father
Another on the way
It's a wedding, hooray
And it's ours you say
Tonight's the honeymoon
We'll put those rabbits to shame
Hey, it's a giant fluffy bunny
Let's stay and rest awhile
Lie on his comforting fur
So bye, bye Ms. American Pi
And I would give up forever to touch you
You know it's all true
Heavy metal concert, dressed in goth
You know you look beautiful
Pounding music, driving rhythm
Future home, dungeon deep
Music playing, kitchen singing
Cookies calling your name
I sigh, take a step back
From the keyboard where I've written my dreams
And I know now, I do know now
Where I want to be
I want to share these things with you
You my love and only you
Maybe it won't always be happy
Maybe we'll sometimes be apart
Seperated by thousands of miles
But we'll always be together
In heart, if only that
And the words I found lacking
Short days ago
Suddenly return to me in force
Poetry flows, the smile begins
Remember old times, good things
There's love still in these old eyes
Burned by the fires of hell and time
But love for you still flows
And will flow
Til the end of my days
This is my epiphany
My sudden understanding
I love you
Even if you don't love me
Even if I have to let you go
Even if you've lied
Even if we're never together
Even if I haven't always known or remembered
Even if things get hard
Even if things are easy
Even if we're a thousand miles apart
Even if it's only an inch
Even if life goes on forever
Even if it ends tomorrow
Even if nothing stays the same
Even if we end up with someone else
Even if life never gives us a break
Even if we're tested
Even if we're tried
Even if hell spat you back out to me
Even if I cried
I love you
Never be afraid to tell the truth
Never fail to go where eagles dare
Never lose track of what's important to you
Never give up your faith
I'll love you anyways
'Til the end of time
Come what may
Or hell or high water
I will.
So let's dance in the moonlight
Look deep into the others eyes
We're naked, we're on a beach
Stars shine upon us
Casting a cool glow upon all
Gaze deep into my eyes...
Deeper, deeper still...
And know... I love you.
(April 25th 2005)
Like shattered glass
Illusions fall
Dreams dissolve, resolve
Changing, twisting turning
Surer now, a future in mind
Paths are set, places to go
Let's find a route that takes us
To the ancient city of gold
We'll dance in the moonlight
I'll sweep you off your feet
Lay you in your bed of roses
Touch your face, gently stroke
It's midnight, New Years Eve
Let's celebrate now together
It's Christmas Eve, sit by the fire
Relax and whittle away the hours
Valentine's Day, we're out
Candlelit dinner, romantic movie
Necking like teenagers
It's our birthdays, happy birthday
We grow older, appreciate the years
Look how time has changed us
But still we grow together
It's Graduation, you've got your degree
Look how happy you are, all in green
Mother's Day, Father's Day
Our children surround us
Kali on her mother's lap
Iris beside her father
Another on the way
It's a wedding, hooray
And it's ours you say
Tonight's the honeymoon
We'll put those rabbits to shame
Hey, it's a giant fluffy bunny
Let's stay and rest awhile
Lie on his comforting fur
So bye, bye Ms. American Pi
And I would give up forever to touch you
You know it's all true
Heavy metal concert, dressed in goth
You know you look beautiful
Pounding music, driving rhythm
Future home, dungeon deep
Music playing, kitchen singing
Cookies calling your name
I sigh, take a step back
From the keyboard where I've written my dreams
And I know now, I do know now
Where I want to be
I want to share these things with you
You my love and only you
Maybe it won't always be happy
Maybe we'll sometimes be apart
Seperated by thousands of miles
But we'll always be together
In heart, if only that
And the words I found lacking
Short days ago
Suddenly return to me in force
Poetry flows, the smile begins
Remember old times, good things
There's love still in these old eyes
Burned by the fires of hell and time
But love for you still flows
And will flow
Til the end of my days
This is my epiphany
My sudden understanding
I love you
Even if you don't love me
Even if I have to let you go
Even if you've lied
Even if we're never together
Even if I haven't always known or remembered
Even if things get hard
Even if things are easy
Even if we're a thousand miles apart
Even if it's only an inch
Even if life goes on forever
Even if it ends tomorrow
Even if nothing stays the same
Even if we end up with someone else
Even if life never gives us a break
Even if we're tested
Even if we're tried
Even if hell spat you back out to me
Even if I cried
I love you
Never be afraid to tell the truth
Never fail to go where eagles dare
Never lose track of what's important to you
Never give up your faith
I'll love you anyways
'Til the end of time
Come what may
Or hell or high water
I will.
So let's dance in the moonlight
Look deep into the others eyes
We're naked, we're on a beach
Stars shine upon us
Casting a cool glow upon all
Gaze deep into my eyes...
Deeper, deeper still...
And know... I love you.
Let's Go
(April 20th 2005)
Son of San Sebastian
Buried by shadows of night and day
Nevr ceasing, ever creasing
Look why are you here
Here for love you say?
The Wolf eating the Raven
Trapped by the shadow
Cast out of the light
We meet in this place
No shadow... no light...
Temple of the evil
Temple of the weak
Brilliant halo from heaven above
Crushing the spirit, the life
Your touch and words revive me
As I gaze, entranced by your eyes
It's my song they now sing to you
You stand no chance
Cursed by a temple of darkness
Forsaken by the temple of right
Help me to understand
Help me to see light again
I'd give a kingdom for one more day
And now, not blinded at last
Smoke rises, mist clears
I gaze at you, with eyes anew
And I'm tangled up in you
Love due to expire too long time ago
Kills me, it will kill you too
Now, time to say goodbye at last
To the camera girl who had a slice
Of my heart, but never all of it
Farewell... farewell...
I heard you passed away
It was a beautiful day
No more tears for darkness
Nor for temptation slain
At the end of her day, my tears will fall
Today, I turn to my Goddess
Heiress of the evening
Sings in silence
Do I sing in silence?
Shadows, can't quite touch
Running low on faith now
Trying to get back to me
I found this key that will
Open the gate of fear
Now, challenges await
Rebuilding the life I once had
Memories lie in my heart
Cherished forever
Stay for awhile
Stay forever
Sing for the times
You are bound to betray
You're my love, my Goddess
And everything you say
Makes the shadows disappear
But are they still there?
Can this be wrong?
It's love that is not ending
You're my love, my Goddess
Not letting go again
Time, yes time solves all
We'll be together again
But now we stand
In Toronto, on this day
We smile, see spark in eye
And we say to each other
Let's Go
LIMBO
(April 20th 2005)
Look around, shifting walls
Multi-colored, multi-shaped
Never quite sure what they are
Shadows seem to fly in front of your eyes
Monsters appear to rise from the very ground
Above, a light may be coming from heaven
Or is it darkness from heaven...
Shadows, stand and fight
Surrounding you, form a wall
Monsters rise, block the light
(Or is it darkness?)
From view
Suddenly shadows seem to turn
Tearing, clawing fists and arms
Drawing blood from you, from them
Multi-color becomes black
Multi-shaped becomes nothing
Pull, pull towards them
Light pierces the black
Reverses time, avoids death
(Or is it darkness?)
(Creating a perversion)
Shadows, turn and fight
Form a wall, hold the line
Monsters, surround you
Guard you from the darkness
(Or is it the light after all?)
From the twisted colors calls a voice
High pitched, sweet
It bids that you come to it
So it might hold you, banish the darkness
(Or is it light?)
...
Perhaps darkness now shrouds all
Or perhaps, light blinds you
The shadows attack, retreat, defend
Monsters rise, defend, attack
(Or perhaps there are none)
And still the voice calls
"Come my child
So that I may hold you
And banish the darkness
Forever and ever"
Or is it light?
Paranoia
Feb 12th 2005
Sit, surrounded by people
Wonder if entangled by lies
See a knife, then it's gone
Never sure it was really there
Back and forth, trying to believe
Circles upon circles, spiraling down
Depths of Hell, you can never know
Reachs of Heaven, you'll always believe
Sit here, small things poking
Wondering if they mean something
Larger things call, reassurance comes
But still the small annoying fly is poking
Believing, disbelieving, never quite sure
Wondering if they are decieving
Cover it up, wear your mask
Dance the last dance, this one fast
Sit, now knowing forever and ever
You'll never know anything for sure
Believe in her, believe in love
Then twist and turn, small fly once more
Question it all, never believing,
Wondering if she is decieving
Seeing others; doomed to reliving
Dark hour; dark seas close once more
Rot in the firey depths of Hell
Can't see, won't see, blinded
Wondering what's in front, have to know
Never to know, rotting in Hell
Accepting your fate, gaze upwards
Remember your belief, you love her
Always have, always will til Time's own end
Ignore that small fly poking
Small fly poking, makes me think
Wonder and question, cause disbelief
Still I sit here, wondering still
Will vicious cycles ever stand still
Want to live in content, you by my side.
Wondering if you still dream, if you still believe?
Don't seem to lately, maybe it's me
See how vicious this cycle can be
Sit here knowing my feelings for you
Never ending, nor ceasing, this love for you
Believing in yours, never letting go
May this vicious cycle go out the window
Sit in darkness, wonder still
Suffering paranoia, keep on truckin'
Brighter days ahead, so this I know
I'm not letting go, 'til you say so
SOULMATE
(Apr 3rd 2005)
It's raining
An autumn's eve
Logs burn brightly in the fire
Burn on, logs
Hardwood floor stretches around
I sit, crosslegged in the middle
Feeling warmth, blue warmth
Fill the air
Scent of night fills the air
Scent of fall, scent of rain
Though the runaway train is here
Though my heart's been buried in pain
And I'm not quite certain this is real
Somedays I open my eyes, look around
What is this world, so strange
That I am in
And I look who's beside me
She is not you
She can never be you
Can't speak, call her love
For she isn't, not in my heart
Ten months, I've been here
Filling myself with this hope
Of seeing you
Maybe let down once too often
One too many attacks of paranoia
It all came tumbling down
Love, buried in pain, heartache
And now I wake in this place
With her beside me
But she is not you
She can never be you
Can't speak, call her love
For she isn't, not in my heart...
You know I'd do anything
To bring us together in space
If I could do that, I wouldn't be here
I'd be by your side, whereever
Whenever, however that could be.
But, no matter how many times I close my eyes
Wish you were here
You're never here, I'm never there
So I walk by her side
But she is not you
She can never be you
Can't speak, call her love
For she isn't... not in my heart...
You know it, I know it
I've just been too blind to see
That you love me
As I love you
No matter how happy I am with her
I always have the moment
When a song comes on
"I somehow find, you and I collide"
Or a phrase comes up
"Great minds think alike"
Or someone says a name
"So me and Courtney last night"
Or another song
"So bye bye Ms. American Pie"
Or yet another song
"And I'd give up forever to touch you..."
I see your face before my eyes
A small sad smile comes to my face
In memories of days gone by
And hopefully yet to come
When I walk by your side
You are you
You will always be you
I'll speak, call you my love
Because you are always in my heart
So why do I walk beside her
Who isn't you, can never be you
Call it a break, call it a test
It's just too much for me now
So frustrated with life and it's problems
With never seeing you...
Never holding you...
Always missing you...
Crying late at night...
Missing you...
You're never there to hold me
To comfort me when I need it
You're never there...
So I'll walk beside her
But I won't speak
Won't call her my love
Because she isn't...
Not in my heart...
In my heart
I'll always walk with you
Where ever we will go
For you will always be
My partner, my soulmate
My one true love
On Valentine's Day At Last
Feb 12th 2005
Back here again
Been around the block
A year ago, thought I loved
An angel, dark as night
Now, with eyes open
I've let her go
Found myself a Goddess
So beautiful, so lovely
Never understood the meaning
The symbolism, the feelings
That lie behind Valentine's Day
Until now, with you by my side
Want to stay here forever
Loving you, caressing you
So now, on this special day
I'll make my promise to you
Through rain and sunshine
Through sleet and snow
Through icy cold and firey heat
Through just plain cloudy
Through all the pain and despair
Through all the joy and happiness
Through all the contentment and laughter
Through all the just plain good
I'll be here by your side
Whenever you need me
Whenever you want me
To hold you, to kiss you
To make the dark things go away
To give you the world and a sun-shiny day
To laugh and cry with you
To hug you goodnight and goodmorn
I'm yours forever and ever
There's no one for me but you
Want you, need you, love you
This is my promise on Valentine's Day
So now, let the world turn
I'll love you everyday
Cherish every moment
Always believing, never ceasing
And come next year
Come Valentine's Day again
We'll be together this time
Kiss and say I love you
On Valentine's Day at last
Metal Monkey Rage
(April 22nd 2005)
Monkey, monkey shining bright
Tell me what form does thou take?
Copper gleaming, gold steaming
Iron burning brightly in dark
Trapped behind your bars of steel
Can't you see the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey shining bright
Rage and rage against the light
Monkey, monkey buried deep
Tell me what form your prison take?
Bars of steel, cage of iron
Grasping, flailing, bouncing
Awaiting a saviour, or a fall
Can't you see the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey buried deep
Let the darkness take us all
Monkey, monkey rising fast
Tell me how does heaven last?
Clouds of air, engulfing all
Running, screaming, hear the fall
Saviour is here at last
Can't you hear the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey rising fast
Go to heaven, don't look back
Monkey, monkey falling now
Tell me, oh tell me how?
Clouds of fire, clouds of death
Burning, choking, fiery pain
Saviour is dead at last
Can't you hear the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey falling now
Can you see the depths of Hell?
Monkey, monkey nowhere now
Tell me can you see and how?
Endless vastness, nothing here
Going nowhere, nowhere fast
Thoughtless, brainless, heartless
Can't you hear the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey nowhere now
Is this all to see some how?
Monkey, monkey home again now
Tell me how it is right now?
Metal trees and iron cages
Saviour nowhere to be found
Iron metal, heartless wood
Can't you hear the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey home again now
Break this cycle, don't know how.
(April 20th 2005)
Son of San Sebastian
Buried by shadows of night and day
Nevr ceasing, ever creasing
Look why are you here
Here for love you say?
The Wolf eating the Raven
Trapped by the shadow
Cast out of the light
We meet in this place
No shadow... no light...
Temple of the evil
Temple of the weak
Brilliant halo from heaven above
Crushing the spirit, the life
Your touch and words revive me
As I gaze, entranced by your eyes
It's my song they now sing to you
You stand no chance
Cursed by a temple of darkness
Forsaken by the temple of right
Help me to understand
Help me to see light again
I'd give a kingdom for one more day
And now, not blinded at last
Smoke rises, mist clears
I gaze at you, with eyes anew
And I'm tangled up in you
Love due to expire too long time ago
Kills me, it will kill you too
Now, time to say goodbye at last
To the camera girl who had a slice
Of my heart, but never all of it
Farewell... farewell...
I heard you passed away
It was a beautiful day
No more tears for darkness
Nor for temptation slain
At the end of her day, my tears will fall
Today, I turn to my Goddess
Heiress of the evening
Sings in silence
Do I sing in silence?
Shadows, can't quite touch
Running low on faith now
Trying to get back to me
I found this key that will
Open the gate of fear
Now, challenges await
Rebuilding the life I once had
Memories lie in my heart
Cherished forever
Stay for awhile
Stay forever
Sing for the times
You are bound to betray
You're my love, my Goddess
And everything you say
Makes the shadows disappear
But are they still there?
Can this be wrong?
It's love that is not ending
You're my love, my Goddess
Not letting go again
Time, yes time solves all
We'll be together again
But now we stand
In Toronto, on this day
We smile, see spark in eye
And we say to each other
Let's Go
LIMBO
(April 20th 2005)
Look around, shifting walls
Multi-colored, multi-shaped
Never quite sure what they are
Shadows seem to fly in front of your eyes
Monsters appear to rise from the very ground
Above, a light may be coming from heaven
Or is it darkness from heaven...
Shadows, stand and fight
Surrounding you, form a wall
Monsters rise, block the light
(Or is it darkness?)
From view
Suddenly shadows seem to turn
Tearing, clawing fists and arms
Drawing blood from you, from them
Multi-color becomes black
Multi-shaped becomes nothing
Pull, pull towards them
Light pierces the black
Reverses time, avoids death
(Or is it darkness?)
(Creating a perversion)
Shadows, turn and fight
Form a wall, hold the line
Monsters, surround you
Guard you from the darkness
(Or is it the light after all?)
From the twisted colors calls a voice
High pitched, sweet
It bids that you come to it
So it might hold you, banish the darkness
(Or is it light?)
...
Perhaps darkness now shrouds all
Or perhaps, light blinds you
The shadows attack, retreat, defend
Monsters rise, defend, attack
(Or perhaps there are none)
And still the voice calls
"Come my child
So that I may hold you
And banish the darkness
Forever and ever"
Or is it light?
Paranoia
Feb 12th 2005
Sit, surrounded by people
Wonder if entangled by lies
See a knife, then it's gone
Never sure it was really there
Back and forth, trying to believe
Circles upon circles, spiraling down
Depths of Hell, you can never know
Reachs of Heaven, you'll always believe
Sit here, small things poking
Wondering if they mean something
Larger things call, reassurance comes
But still the small annoying fly is poking
Believing, disbelieving, never quite sure
Wondering if they are decieving
Cover it up, wear your mask
Dance the last dance, this one fast
Sit, now knowing forever and ever
You'll never know anything for sure
Believe in her, believe in love
Then twist and turn, small fly once more
Question it all, never believing,
Wondering if she is decieving
Seeing others; doomed to reliving
Dark hour; dark seas close once more
Rot in the firey depths of Hell
Can't see, won't see, blinded
Wondering what's in front, have to know
Never to know, rotting in Hell
Accepting your fate, gaze upwards
Remember your belief, you love her
Always have, always will til Time's own end
Ignore that small fly poking
Small fly poking, makes me think
Wonder and question, cause disbelief
Still I sit here, wondering still
Will vicious cycles ever stand still
Want to live in content, you by my side.
Wondering if you still dream, if you still believe?
Don't seem to lately, maybe it's me
See how vicious this cycle can be
Sit here knowing my feelings for you
Never ending, nor ceasing, this love for you
Believing in yours, never letting go
May this vicious cycle go out the window
Sit in darkness, wonder still
Suffering paranoia, keep on truckin'
Brighter days ahead, so this I know
I'm not letting go, 'til you say so
SOULMATE
(Apr 3rd 2005)
It's raining
An autumn's eve
Logs burn brightly in the fire
Burn on, logs
Hardwood floor stretches around
I sit, crosslegged in the middle
Feeling warmth, blue warmth
Fill the air
Scent of night fills the air
Scent of fall, scent of rain
Though the runaway train is here
Though my heart's been buried in pain
And I'm not quite certain this is real
Somedays I open my eyes, look around
What is this world, so strange
That I am in
And I look who's beside me
She is not you
She can never be you
Can't speak, call her love
For she isn't, not in my heart
Ten months, I've been here
Filling myself with this hope
Of seeing you
Maybe let down once too often
One too many attacks of paranoia
It all came tumbling down
Love, buried in pain, heartache
And now I wake in this place
With her beside me
But she is not you
She can never be you
Can't speak, call her love
For she isn't, not in my heart...
You know I'd do anything
To bring us together in space
If I could do that, I wouldn't be here
I'd be by your side, whereever
Whenever, however that could be.
But, no matter how many times I close my eyes
Wish you were here
You're never here, I'm never there
So I walk by her side
But she is not you
She can never be you
Can't speak, call her love
For she isn't... not in my heart...
You know it, I know it
I've just been too blind to see
That you love me
As I love you
No matter how happy I am with her
I always have the moment
When a song comes on
"I somehow find, you and I collide"
Or a phrase comes up
"Great minds think alike"
Or someone says a name
"So me and Courtney last night"
Or another song
"So bye bye Ms. American Pie"
Or yet another song
"And I'd give up forever to touch you..."
I see your face before my eyes
A small sad smile comes to my face
In memories of days gone by
And hopefully yet to come
When I walk by your side
You are you
You will always be you
I'll speak, call you my love
Because you are always in my heart
So why do I walk beside her
Who isn't you, can never be you
Call it a break, call it a test
It's just too much for me now
So frustrated with life and it's problems
With never seeing you...
Never holding you...
Always missing you...
Crying late at night...
Missing you...
You're never there to hold me
To comfort me when I need it
You're never there...
So I'll walk beside her
But I won't speak
Won't call her my love
Because she isn't...
Not in my heart...
In my heart
I'll always walk with you
Where ever we will go
For you will always be
My partner, my soulmate
My one true love
On Valentine's Day At Last
Feb 12th 2005
Back here again
Been around the block
A year ago, thought I loved
An angel, dark as night
Now, with eyes open
I've let her go
Found myself a Goddess
So beautiful, so lovely
Never understood the meaning
The symbolism, the feelings
That lie behind Valentine's Day
Until now, with you by my side
Want to stay here forever
Loving you, caressing you
So now, on this special day
I'll make my promise to you
Through rain and sunshine
Through sleet and snow
Through icy cold and firey heat
Through just plain cloudy
Through all the pain and despair
Through all the joy and happiness
Through all the contentment and laughter
Through all the just plain good
I'll be here by your side
Whenever you need me
Whenever you want me
To hold you, to kiss you
To make the dark things go away
To give you the world and a sun-shiny day
To laugh and cry with you
To hug you goodnight and goodmorn
I'm yours forever and ever
There's no one for me but you
Want you, need you, love you
This is my promise on Valentine's Day
So now, let the world turn
I'll love you everyday
Cherish every moment
Always believing, never ceasing
And come next year
Come Valentine's Day again
We'll be together this time
Kiss and say I love you
On Valentine's Day at last
Metal Monkey Rage
(April 22nd 2005)
Monkey, monkey shining bright
Tell me what form does thou take?
Copper gleaming, gold steaming
Iron burning brightly in dark
Trapped behind your bars of steel
Can't you see the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey shining bright
Rage and rage against the light
Monkey, monkey buried deep
Tell me what form your prison take?
Bars of steel, cage of iron
Grasping, flailing, bouncing
Awaiting a saviour, or a fall
Can't you see the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey buried deep
Let the darkness take us all
Monkey, monkey rising fast
Tell me how does heaven last?
Clouds of air, engulfing all
Running, screaming, hear the fall
Saviour is here at last
Can't you hear the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey rising fast
Go to heaven, don't look back
Monkey, monkey falling now
Tell me, oh tell me how?
Clouds of fire, clouds of death
Burning, choking, fiery pain
Saviour is dead at last
Can't you hear the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey falling now
Can you see the depths of Hell?
Monkey, monkey nowhere now
Tell me can you see and how?
Endless vastness, nothing here
Going nowhere, nowhere fast
Thoughtless, brainless, heartless
Can't you hear the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey nowhere now
Is this all to see some how?
Monkey, monkey home again now
Tell me how it is right now?
Metal trees and iron cages
Saviour nowhere to be found
Iron metal, heartless wood
Can't you hear the monkey squeal?
Monkey, monkey home again now
Break this cycle, don't know how.
